09: Ugly Duckling

The phone rang again but this time, Abigail didn’t jump; she was expecting it. For the fifth time in nearly an hour it violently buzzed on top of her bedside table, begging to be picked up. But she didn’t answer. Instead she stared at it. Watching the glowing LED screen mercilessly flashing the caller’s ID and frowned. At last it went quiet. Abigail unclenched her jaw and sighed as she turned away. 

For three days she’d been going over her argument with Zach, trying to sort out her conflicted feelings. And for three nights she’d been lying in bed trying not to think about the way his hands felt on her body. She missed him. It had been too long since she could even get close to a man without completely freaking out. And there had been no one she could trust with her secret…except Zach. He was the first guy that genuinely showed interest in who she was as a person instead of snubbing her on sight.

The phone started buzzing again and once more his number blinked across the screen. For a moment she considered answering; her hand drifted towards it and hovered for a moment.  But her heart dropped to her stomach at the thought of ever seeing him again and fresh tears burned at the back of her throat. Her pulse was rapidly climbing and breathing suddenly became very difficult. Not again, not now, she exhaled, closing her eyes and hoping to get past the anxious feeling in her gut.

She waited for the ringing to stop before allowing the next set of tears to fall. “What the hell did he do to you, Abs?” Jemma asked, taking a seat on the bed beside her friend. Gently she stroked her hair back, hoping to get her to speak. But, as it had been for the last three days, she sat silently; crying into her pillow and avoiding life outside the dorm. “Look, Knox got us tickets to the Monster Truck jamboree and Mosh…an entire weekend trip to Appaloosa Plains. But if you want me to stay with you, I’ll stay.” Abigail glanced up at her friend but didn’t speak. “You want some tea? I’ll make you some tea,” Jemma responded when she got no answer from Abigail and started towards the kitchenette. 

It was a considerate gesture, but tea was not going to put things back the way they should be. Abigail wiped her eyes and turned her back on the banging of pans near the middle of the room. Silently, she reflected over how everything fell apart. For so long she’d been careful, keeping her secret as close as possible. It had taken years to get to a place of somewhat normalcy. A place where she wouldn’t be judge or needed to worry about people talking about her. 

The scandal had taken over much of her childhood and Abigail was determined to not allow it to rule over her adulthood too. But now the secret was out and she no longer had control over who found out or when. Zach knew. And he’d let the worst possible person find it out as well; and there was no telling with whom Sasha had already shared the sordid details. Abigail inhaled sharply. Another set of tears threatened as she thought about the entire campus pointing and whispering. There’s that girl! That’s the one! It was a scene she avoided back home by moving as far away as possible for college. But now she seemed to be on a collision course with her past.

And despite all of that, a large part of her wanted to see Zach again and not just for the incredible sex. She missed his easy conversation, quick wit and sexy smile and found herself longing for the state of calm that always came with it. And perhaps that was what was really driving her fear. It wasn’t the idea that she was unable to trust him. She knew he was not the type to kiss and tell. He’d given her no reason to believe that he wouldn’t keep her secret, in fact it was the total opposite.  It was the fact that she lost control of herself and accused him of the most awful things without allowing him to explain and now she was too embarrassed to look him in the eyes.

“Be careful. It’s really hot.” Jemma sat the cup down on the bedside table and reached down to gently rub her hair. “I’m here, Abby, if you want to talk.” Abigail’s head nodded. It was the first reaction she’d received since finding her best friend crying persistently two days ago. Without understanding the cause of Abigail’s pain, she’d been unable to offer much help outside of short motivational adages. But now, Jemma felt hopeful that pretty soon she would have a breakthrough.

Zach was pissed. And the more he thought about it, the angrier he became. Something had happened and he was left completely unaware and whatever it was had Abigail making him out to be some kind of bad guy and the thought of that just rubbed him raw. Especially since he’d done everything he could to make her feel as comfortable as possible when she was with him. He’d even helped her ignore the disarming stares she was so used to and feel more at ease in public. He had been patient and understanding with her the times when she tried crawling back inside her shell. He didn’t deserve the way she was treating him now.

And rather than sit in his dorm listening to Knox ramble on about some mundane weekend trip with Jemma he decided to try and work off some of his frustration at the gym. The physical release of lifting twice his weight on the bench and pounding the shit out of a bag of sand improved some of his hurt feelings. But even after two hours, his mind still raced with the look on Abigail’s face and the hurtful accusations she’d tossed at him.

Hopping on the treadmill, Zach hoped to gain some clarity on what went wrong and put his mind at ease. He needed to know what he had done to make her so angry at him and why she’d been giving him the cold shoulder ever since.  Abigail seemed to enjoy the time they spent together. And he’d honestly never had so much fun just hanging out with anyone, let alone someone he was dating. They could consistently make each other laugh and talked for countless hours into the night about the silliest things. And the sex; it was without a doubt the best he’d ever had.

But Zach was ready for more than just fun. He wanted more out of their time together than just casual dating. He thought he had reached that point with Sasha, but he didn’t realize how easy a relationship could be until Abigail. She made everything so simple and could put him at ease with just a smile and had she stayed that night she would have known it too. Oh my god, he thought, his fierce sprinting came to a slowed jog as a sudden realization washed through him. It took another mile on the treadmill before he finally put a name to what he was feeling.

It happened somewhere around their fifth or sixth date. Zach knew it was with Abigail he wanted to be exclusive, but faltered at putting a label on their relationship. He had been so ready to take that next step but was hesitant of pushing her since she’d shy away from the topic every time. But this time needed to be different. He needed to know. Sliding off the gym equipment, he forewent the shower room, grabbed his gym bag and keys and rushed off to see her.

“Abigail, open the door,” Zach pounded fiercely on Jemma and Abby’s shared dorm room. “Please, Abigail, just, come out and talk to me!” Knocking louder, he intended to annoy the occupants enough for someone to at least open the door and tell him to get lost, throw something or scream; at any rate he’d know she was home.

The door cracked open slightly and he was greeted with Jemma’s scowling face. “Go away, Zach.”

“Jemma, I just want to talk to Abigail.”

“Well too bad, she doesn’t want to talk to you. Besides she’s not home right now anyway.”

Zach took one step back and wiped at his mouth. He glanced up into Jemma’s eyes before moving anxiously towards her again. “I know she’s home ok? I just need her to hear me out. Abigail, please, I know you can hear me. Sasha’s a liar; you shouldn’t believe anything she says. You never gave me a chance to explain. Please! I don’t even know why you’re so pissed at me!”

“Here’s a suggestion, why don’t you go and talk to that ex-whore of yours? That’s the only thing I was able to get out of Abby in the past three days. Maybe she’ll tell you what happened.” Jemma shut the door in Zach’s face before he could protest again and he fell against it with a sigh. 

“FUCK!” The shout caused the neighboring door to swing open and a very annoyed resident advisor to stare Zach down until the star player hurriedly rushed out of the building. He was doing it all wrong. Instead of jumping in Abigail’s face and questioning her anger, he should have been wrapping his hands around Sasha’s scrawny, little neck until she came clean about what she’d done.

Running the distance to the Sigma Theta Delta  sorority house, Zach felt the well of his frustrations surge to a boil in the pit of his stomach. Sasha did this. And he was not leaving until she fixed the mess she’d made. “Zach!” Trina smiled as she answered the door. “SASHA, YOUR FIANCÉ IS HERE!” she yelled upstairs to a closed door.

“Wait a second, her what?” he asked, trying to establish what his ears had just heard.

“Oh you don’t have to play the secret game with us, we’re her sisters; we share everything!” Before Trina could continue, Sasha came flitting down the stairs, a large smile on her face and an even larger diamond on her ring finger. Trina closed the door behind Zach and trotted off in the direction of the living room.

“Zachy!” Sasha greeted him, attempting to lean forward and kiss his cheek but Zach quickly stepped away. “I wasn’t expecting you for another few hours, I’m still getting ready! Let me guess, you planned a super romantic night and just couldn’t wait to see me?” she continued, playing it up for the small group of girls staring at them from the den. Zach looked over at them and back to Sasha before grabbing her by the arm and pulling her into the study for a little more privacy. 

“Cut the shit, Sasha, I know you did something to Abigail. I just came to find out what.”

“Why whatever do you mean, Pookiepie? The only thing I did was tell her the truth. Poor thing. She had no idea. She was grateful though.”

“The truth?” Zach scoffed, folding his arms against his chest with a scowl as he looked down at the jewel on her finger. “Nice ring. It looks much more expensive than the one I actually bought you. But, then again, you always needed the finer things.”

“Humph,” she shrugged and moved to pour herself a drink. “I’d have been happy with anything you got me, Sugarbear.”

“Sasha…”

“Yes?” she asked coyly, ignoring the frustration in Zach’s voice as he sighed. 

Stepping forward, he snatched the cocktail from her hand and slammed in onto the bar, spilling it a little before his voice raised louder than he’d intended, “WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ABIGAIL?”

She jumped and looked at him with wide eyes. In the two years they’d been together, she couldn’t remember a single moment he was ever as angry as he was now. His face was red and his eyebrows fused, darkening the normal bright gloss of his eyes. She took one step back to make a smooth recovery…and ensure they were still alone. “Well,” she harrumphed. “If you’d have shown that kind of emotion when we were together, things might have gone much differently.”

“And if you’d have been less of a tramp…” Zach paused, swallowing the rest of his sentence. “No. I’m not getting into this with you. I just want answers. Abigail was supposed to meet me for dinner. But you stopped her in the parking lot and said something that got her pissed at me. I’m just asking you what it was.”

“Aww. Having relationship issues again, Zachy? Gee…at some point you gotta wonder if it’s really the girls you choose or, perhaps, you.” She grinned wickedly at him and poked him in the chest, leaning close enough for him to smell the booze on her breath.

“FUCK THIS!” he shouted and stepped back. Sasha looked behind him. Apparently his raised voice had alerted the residents of the house as four girls looked in on them, staring as the two argued.

“Wait, Sweetikins, you’re right. I’m being silly,” she tried redirecting his anger, hoping to calm him down before he made a scene.

Zach shook his head at her. Watching her hopeless attempt to save face. “You’re desperate, Sasha. You hate to lose and what I don’t get, YOU basically dumped ME when you decided to spread your legs for the entire football team. Why do you care what I’m doing or who with now? You sure as hell couldn’t give two shits when I was willing to let you walk all over me.” Sasha folded her arms into her chest and stared Zach down as the hall behind him filled with a few more faces as nearly every door in the sorority house opened to tune in on the loud voices. “You know what? Forget it. I don’t give a damn anymore, Sasha. Not about you or this sadistic game you’re determined to play. Just do me a favor and leave me and Abigail out of it.” He turned to storm out the door. The crowd of girls parted as he brushed past with Sasha quick on his heels.

“Fine. Have it your way, Zach! Go, run back to your ugly duckling just don’t be surprised when she doesn’t turn out to be a swan!” She glared at the many eyes pointed in her direction and coolly flipped her hair over her shoulder. “What the hell are you all staring at? Don’t you have miserable lives to lead? Get the hell out of my face!” she growled, and stomped up the stairs, slamming the door to her room.

Zach made it back to his dorm. He was happy to find Knox had already left. Peace and quiet, that’s what he needed. Time to think; time to regroup; time to figure a way out of the mess Sasha had made. It was clear to him she wasn’t going to be any help convincing Abigail to give him a second chance. Not that she could be trusted to either way. He only needed a way in since Jemma was proving to be an unmovable roadblock. Maybe he could have Knox appeal to her kinder side. 

Zach shook the thought free and snatched a cold beer from the mini fridge. For a moment he just held the bottle in his hands, letting the cool condensation drip from between his fingers. He couldn’t ask that of his friend; it wouldn’t be right. No. He needed to figure this out on his own…before it was too late and Abigail completely shut him out. Popping the cap on the beer, he turned the bottle to his lips and drew a large gulp, sighing as the frosty liquid rolled down his throat.

He was just about to turn on the TV and find something to get his mind off of Abigail when a knock at the door dragged his attention away. “If that’s you, Sasha, you’d better have an army with you. Abigail!” Zach exclaimed, opening his door and surprised to find her standing on his stoop. Here he was trying to figure out a way to get her to talk to him when she was already working that out for him. “What are you…?”

“Zach, can we talk? There are some things I need to tell you.” Backing away a few steps, he allowed her to enter the room and watched as she paced in front of his desk a moment. Her eyes met his and he could see that she’d been crying and something told him she was far from done. The pacing finally stopped and she took a seat and waited. Quietly, Zach shut the door and joined her.

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